Friday, October 17, 2014

Dear Facebook...

Hey there buddy, we need to talk. See we've been together for a long time, years in fact and I love being with you.  Well I need to be honest, I loveD being with you.  You are my link to old friends, some I've known since kindergarten.  You helped me to celebrate their birthdays, anniversaries, babies, you reminded me to pray for them in the lows and celebrate with them in the highs.  You allowed me to brag un mercilessly on my own kids (and husband) and gave me a platform for my off the wall sense of humor.  Truly Facebook, you were my partner in crime.  But things have changed, you've changed and I have too.  You seem very negative to me lately and while I've tried to stay positive in the hopes that you would possibly go back to the fun and silly site you used to be, sadly you are unwilling to do so.  And quite frankly my friend, your negativity is too much for me right now.

Don't worry, we aren't over, I'm not saying goodbye, I don't think.  I'm just saying that I think we need a break from each other.  You know distance makes the heart grow finder and all that. Anyway, take care Facebook and I'll see ya when I see ya.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

She is most definitely mine…

This morning an incredible person stumbled into my bathroom where I was rushing to get ready for work.  Dressed in worn in jeans and an oversized sweatshirt with sleepy eyes and tousled hair, she sat down on the closed toilet seat and tucked her bare feet up under her. 

“Whatchya doin?” I asked this sleepy beauty.

She cups her hands around a steaming cup of coffee while pulling it close to her heart and in a beautiful raspy morning voice says, “I just need a minute with my coffee to wake up.”

Well my friends, I have done it!  Beware…there are now officially two of us! 

Wednesday, October 1, 2014


On this beautiful first day of October I'm sitting in the back seat of my own car.  We are going on a mini road trip.  Something I desperately love to do.  I hate to travel but a quick road trip with my loves is my personal heaven.  But as I sit here with my Starbucks in hand (your not surprised) I was suddenly utterly and completely overwhelmed at what I was participating in.

Today I'm a passenger in my own car which is nothing new, if my husband is with me he drives, I like it that way.  But today he is also a passenger.  Today my son is in the drivers seat.  Today my 17 year old is driving us to his first college visit.  Today we will visit the same town I've been to a hundred times when my husband was a student there.  But today it will be with different eyes.  Today I won't be seeing it as the fun place I used to escape to visiting my love.  Today I will be visiting the place my first born will be living for the next four years.  As I endure this year and truly enduring is what I feel it is when I can't stop thinking that every single minute eases us closer and closer to a new normal, one I'm not particularly fond of.  I am a momma bear in the worst of ways.  I LOVE having my kids home with me.  Nothing makes me happier or more content than when it's the five of us under one roof.  Then and seriously only then do I feel complete and whole.  Please don't judge me (or do I don't really care) I know this is what is supposed to happen.  I know this is why we 'train them up in the way they should go and pray that they keep their paths straight'. I know that all
of this is completely normal.  But that doesn't help this momma's heart.  Yes, I will let him go I just don't feel ready.  If you know my kid then you know he has the sweetest disposition.  You know he is a good kid (just a good ole boy).  He has a tender heart.  He will do the right thing in all situations because he just doesn't understand not doing the right thing.

So today as I watch him drive me to his future university/home I don't see the tall (taller than both his parents), broad shouldered, handsome man he has become.  I still see a tiny little boy with wide innocent eyes, big ears (blessed he grew into them),  and the sweet voice of the child who knew what the inside of my heart sounded like first.  Today I see him.