Saturday, June 26, 2010

I'm not ALWAYS right...

I talked to my husband on the phone forever today...he was at Home Depot...I was at home...he was buying a generator and was annoyed with me. While he stood in the aisles wanting to just grab one and get this chore over with I'm sure...he patiently sat on the phone with me while I browsed websites looking for the best one at the best price at the best location. He very nearly went running to another store when I questioned the one he wanted to purchase...evidently I'm the type to say "I told you so" and the fear of the one he chose not working and him having to endure my 'wrath' almost sent him across town.

Last year after Ike while my yard looked like this.

We lived without power for about 14 days. At first it was kind of fun. Our neighbors met us early each morning with steaming cups of coffee (they had a generator...we did not). We would work in the yard while the kids played outside with no electronic devices , we would play board games for hours, we would sit outside in the evenings with those same neighbors enjoying wine and laughter. After dinner cooked on gas grills I would sit in the bathroom holding a flashlight so my kids would have light while they showered. (I learned what true friends looked like...though that's a post for another time.) We bonded and we were blessed. Then it go OLD! I wanted clothes washed in the washer and dried in the drier because no matter what the commercial shows...towels do not stay fluffy soft when hung on a clothes line.

About 7 days into the (no longer fun) power outage we received a loaner generator from a friend that had had power was such a huge gift just to know I wasn't feeding my children out of an ice chest anymore.

So...not wanting to go through that again and living on the coast means that you pay a butt load of money for this

something you hope you never have to use. Ironic right?

By the way...the husband came home and started the generator and it runs beautifully! He did a great job choosing the correct one! I told you I trusted your judgement! hehehe
P.S...I am not recommending or not not recommending this particular brand of generator...however...if we have another storm and it comes through like it should...I'll be sure and let you know.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Letting them be...

My husband was a football stud, he loved the game and the game loved him. He couldn't wait to get his sons out on the field and see them follow in his footsteps, envisioning them playing on the same high school football field that he had. Unfortunately, neither of our sons are interested in playing football, an issue that crushed him at first but he has now come to accept. Dare I say, he even embraces the activities they choose to participate in, though none of them are things he ever did!

I was a dancer, not an amazing one, average I would call myself, though I did love it and my high school drill team memories are among my fondest! Yet I swore I WOULD NOT force dance on my daughter, and I didn't, I put her in it when she asked and took her out when she asked. A year later she asked again and again I placed her tentatively in the dance room waiting for the crying to start, it didn't. Not only did she love dance, she lived for it. One class was never enough, she wanted to dance non-stop, more classes, more costumes, more shows! However, I find myself in an odd moment, her love of dance seems to have cooled. Is it the summer doledrums of not wanting to do more than hang out in bathing suits with her friends all day? Is it that she has proved she can do it and do it well (better than I ever could) and so now she's over it? I find myself obsessing over this new change in attitude when in all reality I should be rejoicing! Quitting dance would mean a fatter bank account (does it really HAVE to be that expensive?), an emptier calendar (does it really HAVE to take that much time?). But it would also mean a little less joy in my life. I love to watch her dance, when she takes the stage she lights up, she's never afraid, she never questions what she's doing, and she always thinks she did great! I love her self-esteem!

I know people that are living through their children, who knows I may be doing the same. I know people who force their child to do something the child hates just because the parent wants it. You see it in the child's face, in their words and how they treat the parent that is forcing this life on them. I don't want to be THAT parent. And I can honestly say I never have been...yet.

So I ask myself at what point does what our children want for themselves and what we want for them become blurred? How easily can we cross the line of supporting them to pushing them? Do I really want her to dance so that she can follow her dreams? Or is it my pride that wants her on that floor? Because, my heart bursts with it when she's out there...just like it bursts with pride when my boys are doing what they love...just like my heart bursts with pride when I tuck them in at night and see their sweet faces in a quiet slumber.

Am I becoming THAT mom? Gosh I hope not...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

In the beginning...

I love to's my safe place. I write letters to my husband when I'm angry so I can filter myself. I write letters to my children each year on their birthday...they are in journals that I will give them one day...or maybe they will find them when I'm gone. I write stories...some have been published...most have not. And now, evidently I will write a may never see some ways I hope you wont. This blog isn't really for's for me. Just like my's for me!