Just another day in paradise...

This is just another Saturday in paradise for me...what does your Saturday look like?

Set alarm to wake up.
Make muffins.
Fix computer.
Start dishwasher.
Start coffee.
Start laundry.
Take muffins out of oven.
Walk past spouse watching fishing. "Getting in shower kids need to get up" I say.
Take quick shower.
Wash hair, shave legs.
Spouse comes in and says (in a slightly elevated voice) "We have to leave in 30 minutes!".
"Yup" I say.
Spouse starts getting dressed.
Offspring still in bed watching tv.
Daughter can't find jeans.
Spouse says "Just handed you jeans".
"Those were mom's jeans".
Find jeans for girl child.
Walk past spouse watching fishing.
Tell children to hurry.
Fix snacks for children.
Spouse comes in saying (in a slightly elevated voice) that we are late, while heating his coffee.
"I'm completely ready." I say.
 Spouse asks if children are ready.
I remind spouse to grab Lacrosse gear as my arms are full.
Spouse forgets Lacrosse gear.
Spouse asks wife (in a slightly elevated voice) why she didn't lock the door, even though wife's hands are full.
Pull in parking lot...spouse looks at clock and says "Hey look at that...right on time!".
Wife kills spouse!!!

Buying school supplies used to be fun...

I spent my day yesterday combining three children's school supply lists, then going through the "leftover" school supplies that came home last year and marking off the list.  Today I will take my three children and our combined list (that is only on my phone because my stupid printer only prints when it wants to) and purchase said school supplies.  I know what your thinking..."Kimberly, they offer those neat little packages and all you have to do is write a check!"  And you know what your right...I could write three checks totaling a combined $180(ish) dollars and be done with it.  But here's the thing:
1.  I loved picking out school supplies when I was growing up...it was so fun to choose the things I wanted to use while at school.  (Of course now they don't let you use just any folder, it has to be a "blue, vinyl, three hole punched, brad and pocket folder"...boring!!!  And don't even get me started on why one kid has to have 300 sheets of filler paper and the other two have to have 260.  Or why the Kleenex for one kid is 100 count and the other two is 60 count.  Seriously?  Does it matter???
2.  I'm determined that I can save money buy buying these things in bulk and splitting it up between my children. 
Am I delusional?  Yup probably but oh well...off we go!

Home Church

I love my church...my husband and I started attending it when we were dating (20 years ago) and joined when we dedicated our oldest son to the church (13 years ago). I can't imagine going anywhere else...but on some Sunday mornings, when I feel like we have been running crazy every single day, I don't want to get dressed or go anywhere. That's sounds bad doesn't? God chose to wake me and my beautiful family up...the least I can do is haul my lazy butt to church right? But what if your heart isn't in it? You know those days that the the pastor is up there giving an amazing message and all your doing is writing a grocery list on the back of the bulletin...or thinking of where you want to go to lunch (sorry Pastor David ;0). Those are the days that my husband and I have created home church...we pile in the den in our jammies with a steaming cup of coffee and our Bibles...each of the kids reads a Bible story and tells what it means to them...we have discussions...sometimes lengthy and serious and sometimes short and silly. I love home church...I love to hear what my children think about the Bible verses and stories and why those chose them. I like to think that God smiles down on us during our home church...because after all..."For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20

Letting them be...

My husband was a football stud, he loved the game and the game loved him. He couldn't wait to get his sons out on the field and see them follow in his footsteps, envisioning them playing on the same high school football field that he had. Unfortunately, neither of our sons are interested in playing football, an issue that crushed him at first but he has now come to accept. Dare I say, he even embraces the activities they choose to participate in, though none of them are things he ever did!

I was a dancer, not an amazing one, average I would call myself, though I did love it and my high school drill team memories are among my fondest! Yet I swore I WOULD NOT force dance on my daughter, and I didn't, I put her in it when she asked and took her out when she asked. A year later she asked again and again I placed her tentatively in the dance room waiting for the crying to start, it didn't. Not only did she love dance, she lived for it. One class was never enough, she wanted to dance non-stop, more classes, more costumes, more shows! However, I find myself in an odd moment, her love of dance seems to have cooled. Is it the summer doledrums of not wanting to do more than hang out in bathing suits with her friends all day? Is it that she has proved she can do it and do it well (better than I ever could) and so now she's over it? I find myself obsessing over this new change in attitude when in all reality I should be rejoicing! Quitting dance would mean a fatter bank account (does it really HAVE to be that expensive?), an emptier calendar (does it really HAVE to take that much time?). But it would also mean a little less joy in my life. I love to watch her dance, when she takes the stage she lights up, she's never afraid, she never questions what she's doing, and she always thinks she did great! I love her self-esteem!

I know people that are living through their children, who knows I may be doing the same. I know people who force their child to do something the child hates just because the parent wants it. You see it in the child's face, in their words and how they treat the parent that is forcing this life on them. I don't want to be THAT parent. And I can honestly say I never have been...yet.

So I ask myself at what point does what our children want for themselves and what we want for them become blurred? How easily can we cross the line of supporting them to pushing them? Do I really want her to dance so that she can follow her dreams? Or is it my pride that wants her on that floor? Because, my heart bursts with it when she's out there...just like it bursts with pride when my boys are doing what they love...just like my heart bursts with pride when I tuck them in at night and see their sweet faces in a quiet slumber.

Am I becoming THAT mom? Gosh I hope not...

In the beginning...

I love to write...it's my therapy...my safe place. I write letters to my husband when I'm angry so I can filter myself. I write letters to my children each year on their birthday...they are in journals that I will give them one day...or maybe they will find them when I'm gone. I write stories...some have been published...most have not. And now, evidently I will write a blog...you may never see this...in some ways I hope you wont. This blog isn't really for you...it's for me. Just like my coffee...it's for me!